Soundtrack: Doves, “Intro”

One of the things that led me to publicly announce my decision to leave my old spiritual path has been my desire to share recent spiritual experiences outside that of that path.  The one I’m about to describe happened about three weeks ago. It convinced me that I could no longer be silent about the changes that I’m going through right now—as personal as they may be and as surprising as they may be to other people who have known me for a long time.

For nearly two decades, a Baha'i prayer book has sat on my bookshelf unopened. A Baha’i in Urbana, Illinois gave it to me when I first began to consider the faith in 1988. It’s an older version of the book--a hardcover, green in color. It remained unopened until August when I made my first visit to the Madison Baha'i Center. As a restless 21-year old, I had little patience for the verses in the prayer books. But at 40, I now find myself captivated by the depth of the prayers, as well as the beautiful language in which they are written.

I have been taking the classes on the Faith at the Madison Baha'i Center and at one point we covered the Obligatory Prayers, which Baha’is say once a day. There are three to choose from, with the shortest being less than thirty seconds. I figured it was something I should try, and to see if I have any positive experiences with it. That would, in turn, would be one step in helping me decide whether the Baha'i Faith is right for me. So I decided one day to offer the prayer on my way to an appointment after work. The appointment was in a building near Lake Monona, and I knew of a secluded lakefront spot near the building that few knew about. I thought that would be a very nice place to offer the prayer.

It was very windy, with severe thunderstorms threatening the area. (Ultimately, they weren’t severe here in Madison, but the same storm system wreaked significant damage in Northwest Indiana). Throughout the entire day low dark clouds were barreling across the horizon. They looked very sinister, but rarely caused any rain. They did cast a feeling of drama in the air, and I found them almost as exciting as an approaching thunderstorm.

It did rain right before I left work, but by the time I got outside to wait for the bus, the rains had subsided. As I boarded the bus, I was concerned that it might rain once I got to my selected spot, because darker clouds were approaching from the west. The bus route takes us through some wooded and open areas, and I saw the wind violently shake the trees as we were going by.

But as the bus turned north, I suddenly saw a big rainbow to the south/southeast. It was not very long, but it was very thick, and the colors in it were brighter than any rainbow I’d ever seen. A fellow rider commented on the rainbow, too, so I knew I wasn’t seeing things.

In the spiritual path of Mahikari, which I have recently departed, we would consider rainbow sightings to be a sign of encouragement from God. That I was now seeing a rainbow as I contemplated offering my first Baha'i obligatory prayer could mean one of two things: 1) all of these rainbow sightings were coincidence, or 2) God had been encouraging me in the past and was once again encouraging me. Either way, the sighting put me at ease, and helped still the feelings of anxiety I’ve occasionally had about leaving the Mahikari organization.

When I got off the bus, I found myself walking in the direction of the rainbow, but it was moving east, and soon disappeared altogether. But at that point, Lake Monona became visible through a clearing in the trees, and the waters shone with a beautiful luminescence under the rolling storm clouds.

I stepped up to a bank overlooking the lake, pulled out my prayer book and got ready to read. But I then realized I forgot to perform my ablutions—a ritual hand washing of the hands and face that are generally required before offering the prayer. No problem—I was at the edge of a large body of water. So I dipped my hands into the lake, found the water to be remarkably clear, and splashed the water over my face and hands.

Then I climbed back up the bank, lifted my book and read the prayer. A short prayer, less than 20 seconds long, but it says a lot. Then I stood in silence and enjoyed the silence as I looked over the lake.

I thought about the drama of dark clouds in the sky, yet it was interesting how the rain stopped just as I walked outside. I thought about the bright rainbow that greeted me on the way to this spot. If these were coincidences, it certainly seemed like I was having a lot of them. Within a minute I began to feel a few sprinkles, so I put my prayer book away and walked inside.